The Munchables is a children game, but you know what? Almost all games are children games. I recently had the chance to play Dead Rising, GTA 4, and Halo 3 with the less-than-ten-year-old kids of some “progressive” friends of mine, and it became abundantly clear to me how appealing “mature” content is to kids. They loved those games, far more than My Sims, or Mario.

So yeah, like nearly each videogame ever made, The Munchables will likely appeal to kids, but unlike GTA 4, it will probably also appeal to non-progressive parents who are looking to purchase a game for their kids that’s “safe”. “Games of this “safe” nature tend to suck, as they’re usually made for as tiny money as possible and the understanding that few people of discerning taste will ever play them.

All signs point to the upcoming film, G.I. Joe The Rise of Cobra, being a miserable disaster. Rumor is that the film received the lowest scores ever in the history of Paramount during a recently private test screening. Ouch.

The Electronic Arts game on the other hand, I suppose we could give a pass to… provided it’s at least a relatively amusing action game, right? I mean, I like Snake-Eyes and I like Storm Shadow, and I wouldn’t mind kicking ass with either of the two. If the game is even slightly fun, of course.

Well, it looks like EA is bribing gamers with nostalgia. The publisher has announced that the game will feature a number of unlockables, including four of the classic PSA’s from the original 80’s cartoon series. Additionally, 75 file cards – modeled after the ones you used to cut out from the action figure boxes — will be scattered throughout the game. Oh, and there’s some behind-the-scenes stuff included, too.

Does that save G.I. Joe The Rise of Cobra? That remains to be seen; I’m still not over what they’re doing to Cobra Commander. I mean, that’s not Cobra Commander, okay? This is Cobra Commander. Seriously.

G.I. Joe The Rise of Cobra is slated to hit each console ever this August, including Xbox 360, PlayStation, Wii, PlayStation 3, Nintendo DS, PlayStation Portable, and mobile phones.

Resident Evil fans with itchy trigger fingers might have something to add to their holiday gift list this year. According to retailer GameStop, Capcom’s Wii-exclusive Resident Evil: The Darkside Chronicles is set to hit shelves on November 17 of this year.