We haven’t heard too much about No More Heroes 2: Desperate Struggle lately, which had me worried that the game wasn’t going to make its January 2010 launch date. Seeing the ESRB rating for the game has put those worries to rest. Unless the game’s publisher has a sudden change of heart, NMH2 should arrive right on schedule.

That’s just the start of the good news. This ESRB rating summary for the game nearly seems to be bragging about how awesome No More Heroes 2 will be. Details include speak of enemies pulling their own heads off, players being able to watch portions of Travis Touchdown’s favorite anime Bizarre Jelly, and the confirmation of both breast and buttock-jiggle physics. Sorry ladies (and gentlemen), no testicle-jiggle here. Maybe you’ll get your chance in No More Heroes 3.

That’s not to state that the male genitalia is completely left out of the description. In fact, my favorite part of the posting relates to the entire male crotch. Specifically — “The battery meter for Travis’s sword is always represented by a cartoon-like penis icon in the upper-right corner of the screen: as battery power runs out, the icon starts to shrink—a sad face appears“.

Hear that folks? The battery meter for Travis’s sword isn’t sometimes represented by a cartoon-like penis icon, it’s always represented by a cartoon-like penis icon. GOTY 2010 confirmed?

I’m not joking. If No More Heroes 2 turns out to be anything but the most surreal, eye-popping release of 2010, I’m going to be highly disappointed. The ESRB-hype machine has done it again.

Check out the full “warning” after the jump.

[via The Examiner]